S is for Sex Symbol
October 5, 2008
Is this a phase?
Lately, I’ve found myself … loving on myself — for lack of a better phrase. (No, not like that, people. Minds out of the gutter!) I mean, insecurities I once had are now distant memories and every day, I notice something about me physically and mentally that amplifies my self-admiration. It’s not like the teenage years when you’re just in the mirror every five minutes because “you’re smelling yourself” or “you’re hot in the pants,” to borrow a couple of my mother’s old terms. No, this is different, although I can’t exactly say why I’m suddenly so “sweet” on myself.
For instance, I was driving downtown one night recently and my little green dress was so kind as to give me a glimpse of the beauty mark on my inner thigh. Now, I didn’t almost wreck from this distraction or anything, but it did give me slight pause. I thought, girl, you better be sexy! It’s not that I’d never noticed the small dot before, but that day, I fell in love with it.
In the past few months, I’ve also noticed I fall deeper in love with my butt every time I put on my favorite jeans. I catch myself smiling more, just because I love how smiling also accentuates my almond eyes, and makes my brown cheeks ball up like ripe plums. I used to hate my thin nose, big head, full lips, pointy shoulders. Ask me how I feel about them now. Used to despise the deepness of my speaking voice; now I think it’s kind of sultry. I answer questions and solve problems, sometimes to my own surprise. Then, I give myself pep talks like, you go, girl! Never underestimate your intellect! I’m more confident now than I have ever been. And don’t let me put on my favorite bra because then, I am fiercely unstoppable!
But is this a phase? Will I wake up one morning and suddenly be unfazed by my smile or my oddly shaped red birthmark or the mole on my inner thigh? Or does this blooming self-love come with age, self-realization and the blessing of finally being fully aware of my purpose and where I’m headed? I hope it’s the latter.
Peace and blessings,
S.Monette
October 21, 2008 at 1:07 am
SC….you are simply growing into a young lady and walking into the next phase of this journey called life. You have finally discovered you and a beautiful you I might add but I could be a litte biased. Continue to concentrate as you focus on each new goal, each new path and destination…who knows what you will discover or who will discover you. Take it from experience, it is not a phase…you have arrived…Reach high & keep smiling.
October 22, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Thank you, thank you, ASpicer for the blog love! Indeed I think I have arrived … or at least I’m on the right track. Also, thanks for the encouraging words; it’s much appreciated. Much love, S.Monette